PROvision
September 30th, 2020. 4:50pm.
I had a smile on my face as I sat behind the wheel of my 2003 Toyota 4Runner. It had been a month since it was back in my possession. I was grateful that my husband had a gifting for car mechanics. We saved a lot of money keeping these projects under the roof of our garage, but the details of this particular project took a few weekends of time to fix.
I pulled the lever to bring my chair forward as far as it would allow. People always laughed at the sight of my knees touching the underbelly of the steering wheel, but they didn’t know what a five foot one girl had to do in order to see the dash of her car as she drove. I adjusted my rearview and side mirrors and backed out of the driveway.
The suspension had a bit of a bounce to it had been lifted, but to me it felt like I was being rocked to a lullaby as I drove. The interior looked loved, certainly not a “just rolled off the lot” look, but still taken care of. Loved but also lived in. The new car smell had long since been replaced by a variety of lingering essential oils: Lavender… Stress Away… and stale cheerios. The carpets had their fluff but also their stains from the many adventures this vehicle had seen and now the two children in the back seat.
My husband had purchased it two months before we started dating. When I saw the wear and tare on it I remembered the length of time our relationship had evolved. Whenever Clinton opened a door for me I remembered our first date. Whenever I kicked my feet up on the dashboard I remembered all of our road trips; lakes in the summer and mountains in the winter. Whenever I caught myself driving over the speed limit I remembered rushing to the hospital 9cm dilated in labor with our first born. This vehicle had been the third companion and witness to our life’s excitement. We even spent one of our entire night’s date coming up with a name, like two proud parents we looked at her and smiled: “Misty!”
I looked both ways before making a right out of the neighborhood and onto the main road. I was headed to my church for training in a new ministry. The day had been filled with activity as a mom of littles (two under age two), and though I was now rushing off somewhere it felt like a retreat. Ministry would have a different pace than my every day. Though I would still be serving and pouring out, instead of wife or mom, I got to just be “that girl who prayed for me”.
Driving my car was the first time I had sat down in hours and I found it took the entire trip for my body and mind to wind down. My shoulders still sat a little too close to my ears and my left foot tapped rapidly on the floor board at every stop light. My mind found every single topic it had wanted to fret about but had been overshadowed by baby cries and toddler whines. Today it was the worry of purchasing a new vehicle…
“Lord, I don’t want to say goodbye to this car! Does everything have to change??”
It had only been a week and a half since we discovered we were pregnant with our third child. Our decision to make God our family planner had only been made a month prior; making this pregnancy both a surprise and a reality of our commitment.
The past eleven days had been spent trying to wrap our minds around all the adjustments that would need to be made to accommodate our quickly growing family: which one of our children is going to share a bedroom?… are we going to feel claustrophobic in our house?… do we potty train our oldest or have three in diapers?… those lucky jeans I bought on clearance aren’t going to fit soon… am I going to be a good mom to this many littles?… wait, how are we going to fit three car seats back there? Add to these the concern of finance and how we are going to pay for all said adjustments.
“Lord, we haven’t had a car payment in five years!” (As if He didn’t know and wasn’t the One responsible for the blessing).
“Even a mini van would put us in debt right now God…”
My list of woes went on and on like the late afternoon traffic ahead of me.
Bumper to bumper traffic reminded me to not only tap on the brakes below my foot but also on the worry wheels inside my mind.
OK Brit do not worry about tomorrow… worry about right now. Wait where am I headed? Oh yes, Healing Rooms. Worry about that. Correction: Pray about that.
“Lord, I surrender everything that concerns me to You. Use me however You want tonight, I am humbled that You do.”
The remainder of the drive I kept my mouth closed unless to join the sound of praise coming from the stereo.
…
September 30th, 2020. 6:10pm.
I sat in a small common room across three ministers whom I had completed training with. Tonight was “practice night”; practicing hearing the heart of God for a person, delivering that word with His compassion, and letting His power do the rest.
Though each person sitting in front of me was a member of my faith family and “co-laborer” with me, I was shocked at how nervous I felt as I waited for the first person to speak.
What had God shared with them? Would I be disappointed with the message? What if I’m not disappointed but deeply moved and I ugly cry in front of everyone??
The first man spoke and gave me a picture of what he had seen in his mind. I didn’t know right away what in my life it applied to but it was metaphorical and beautiful. I knew that if I took it home with me the Lord would bring more clarity to His heart behind it.
The next minister was a woman and she gave me a scripture. Again, it was encouraging but not quite clear. I almost couldn’t wait to be sitting alone in my bed unpacking it and all that God meant for me.
As each message was revealed my nerves eased. The last minister was again a woman except her message was blunt without hidden meaning…
“CAR! All God gave me was car… does somebody need a car?? Is something wrong with a car??”
I could tell this woman had taken a step of faith to give me such a random word. I wanted to leap up and yell “YES! I NEED THE CAR!” to encourage her, but my need to maintain social normalcy kept me in my chair. The excitement however could not be contained in my spirit as I smiled from ear to ear and continued engaging with the ministers through watery eyes.
I had not been alone on my drive… GOD HIMSELF HAD HEARD MY CONCERN.
He even counted my complaints as prayers.
And He had a plan to provide.
…
October 25th, 2020. 9:35am.
It had been a month since the Lord’s encouragement to me through ministry training. My husband and I were on a breakfast date just the two of us- a rare occasion in our season. Among covering our pancakes with butter and fighting over the last piece of bacon, our conversation contained all the many things that had been on our minds without opportunity to share. One of them- the mystery of the next car.
I honestly hadn’t thought much of it since that Wednesday night at church. But certainly we had to take some action to allow God to move, not sit on our butts waiting for something to happen… right?
So we began scrolling bluebook. With every swipe more discouragement came. Our car would not sell for as much as we expected. Buying anything else would mean having a car payment. Even a used mini-van would put us $20,000 in debt! I could handle the loss of image that came with a mini van… in fact, the convenience of self opening doors and low to the ground entry was appealing for the first time in my life. But acquiring debt for very likely stained carpets and crumb filled crevices was not.
Confusion leaked into my emotions.
Just because God said He would provide a car doesn’t mean it will be perfect… what if we still have a car payment but He provides a pay raise instead? Is that what He meant? How will we know which car is the one He is providing? I don’t want to make a mistake…
Suddenly my bacon became less enjoyable. (Yes, I won the bacon).
“Can we talk about this later?” I ask my husband.
He respects my nerves and quietly continues his search privately. I decide the best way to trust God in this moment is to continue enjoying my breakfast.
…
October 26th, 2020. 10:40am.
I am folding laundry as I do every Monday morning when I get the call from my husband.
“Babe! You will not believe the conversation I just had!”
Getting a call from him on a Monday back at work is rare… hearing enthusiasm in his voice on a Monday even more so. I was intrigued.
“Brad just called me. He asked if we would be interested in buying their Sequoia!”
Brad was our brother in law. The Sequoia was their family vehicle that apparently needed a new home.
Clint had always commented on it. “If you ever sell it let us know!” he would say. It was basically the larger version of my 4Runner; made the same year, 2003, but with a third row totaling 8 seats. Brad was a fellow Toyota fan and took amazing care of his vehicles. His children were getting older and the eight seat vehicle was not as frequently driven. Still, we thought they’d drive it til it was no longer drivable (my sister in law was as attached to her vehicle as I was mine). But God had made other plans.
They had just so happened to come across my sister in law’s dream car the VERY DAY that Clint and I had been blue booking at breakfast. Though they had not been looking, it was a bargain price. As Clint continued to fill me in on all the details of the story, I realized that we too would be getting a dream car at a bargain price...
Let’s just say that we were offered this upgraded version for the same price we could sell our current beloved vehicle… I CALL THAT FREE!
And not only that, because our brother in law had not planned on getting rid of the vehicle any time soon he had just upgraded it: new tires and rims (the coolest I’ve ever driven might I add), back up camera, and apple car play. I CALL THAT GIVEAWAY!
At this point I am in tears. I am overwhelmed by the detailed provision of God, this is clearly His handiwork. And I am deeply touched by the compassion of our family members to bless us in this way.
Clinton and I marvel together for a few more minutes before he has to go back to work. But I can not keep my excitement to myself. I call one of my best friends…
“God just gave us a car!!!”
…
The definition of provision according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary:
PROVISION 1- the act or process of supplying. 2- the fact or state of being prepared beforehand. 3- a measure taken beforehand to deal with a need or contingency: preparation.
The definition of provision according to Holy Spirit:
“Pro-vision: to provide for Our vision!”
(Learn more about “Provision for Your Vision” devotionals and audio CD’s by Warrior Notes ministry.)
…
Aside from the amazement of God hearing our prayers and responding so quickly with more than we had asked, there is greater reason this story is sentimental to my husband and I…
The first gift God gave us is not the new car parked in our garage with upgraded rims and tires. The first gift God gave us is the soul implanted in my womb with little fingers and little toes.
As we share this testimony of financial favor with you, we are celebrating the blessing of life itself. God called us to a family vision that was much larger than we ever thought our capacity was capable. Our family plan regarding child rearing was to say YES to His plan; even if it scared, intimidated or stretched us to let go of selfishness sooner than we wanted to.
But God’s plan not only includes obedience and surrender on our part, it also includes supply and preparation on His part. And as we have agreed to make Him author in this area of our life, He is showing us His readiness to be the provider as well.
God has not only equipped us with an extra seat in our car, but with more room in our hearts for security in Him alone.
To trust in the provision of Him, is to know deep within that He is the One who envisions us before it all became. Therefore, He is not only pro-vision but He is also pro-me.
…
2 Corinthians 9:8 (TPT), “Yes, God is more than ready to overwhelm you with every form of grace, so that you will have more than enough of everything- every moment and in every way. He will make you overflow with abundance in every good thing you do.”
Psalm 139:16 (TPT), “You saw who You created me to be before I became me! Before I’d ever seen the light of day, the number of days You planned for me were already recorded in Your book.”
Romans 8:31 (TPT), “…If God is for us, who can be against us?”
